Out on a Limb (pun intended)

With the loss common community activities, meeting women has become increasingly difficult in our society. Both men and women are turning to the internet in droves looking for that “perfect person,” thus evidenced by the ever-increasing popularity of social networking sites like myspace and facebook. Let us not forget online dating services like e-harmony whose constant barrage of commercials is enough to make anyone want to go celibate. But I digress. I wish I could claim that I was above this influence, but sadly, I must admit to indulging my curiosity. Let me tell you about a girl that I found online. Her name is Lucy.

Like any blossoming internet relationship it started with a short description on a website. Her career in archeology has allowed her to travel all over the world. Well-traveled… Nice. Not to mention the added level of mystique and intrigue sparked by such a unique vocation. Surely this would make for some interesting conversation. I read everything I could about her in preparation for the possibility of our one day meeting. You never want to go into a situation without all the available information. However, like anyone who has indulged in internet dating knows, appearances can be deceiving. The internet allows your best features to be highlighted while minimizing, and often completely obscuring, any faults. Would she be everything that I imagined? More? Less? Eventually, Lady Luck afforded me the chance to answer these questions. I found out that Lucy was coming to work in Houston for several months. Finally the chance to meet in person presented itself and I could move past this strange internet-only thing…

I arranged to see her a couple of weeks ago. Given that we had never met in person, I wanted to meet in a public place, no strings attached. In light of her occupation, we met at the Houston Museum of Natural Science. This would provide something to do and offer plenty of food for thought, moving from one exhibit to another. Things started off okay. Topics of interest: her past, where she came from, what she’s been doing, etc… Not many surprises there since the internet had given me a lot of this before. Other topics: culture, religion, and a little politics. Over all, it was interesting, though I don’t know that I’d want to do it again. That’s always what you want to hear right? “It was fun, but not really good enough to do again…. Sorry!” Ouch. Anyway, as we came to the end of the exhibits she suddenly seemed very quiet. She was almost a statue. Her body language said more than words ever could. It was as if a glass wall had grown between us, that vague feeling that even though you can see someone, that’s it, no other connection is available. I’m not sure what happened. I had built up this meeting for so long that now that we were nearing the end of it, I realized there wasn’t really anything left to do. I think she felt the same. Admittedly the chemistry wasn’t there, though looking back, I’m not sure she was all there either. On the internet she was portrayed as something more than she was, so in the end, I found her somewhat lacking. Going in, I had my reservations. First, she was a bit older than I would normally consider. Second, call me shallow, but she was a lot shorter than I had expected and bit bonier than I normally like. And last, I’m not sure I believed everything concerning her past. And if there isn’t honesty up front, you’re doomed from the beginning.

Overall, things didn’t work out with us. And though I wouldn’t necessarily want to meet again, I’m glad I did get the chance. You might say it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. If you are curious, here is some more information about Lucy.^{1 2 3} I think you will agree that, with the information I have provided, you’ll be able to see right through her.