free web stats Lost in the Eternity of the Here and Now: Breaking News! - '24' Characters Not Original
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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Breaking News! - '24' Characters Not Original

Breaking News! It has come to my attention that the break-out television sensation ‘24’ may have plagiarized two of its main characters, and as such could be open to a host of lawsuits. That’s right, the good people of America have been duped into thinking this stunningly original series was anything but derivative! The creators of ‘24’ virtually lifted two of its characters from the animated series ‘Inspector Gadget.’ “What on earth are you talking about?”, you say. It’s true, both Chloe O’Brien and Jack Bauer are frauds. Before you get defensive and start hurling your insults at me, first consider the evidence.

Chloe bears a striking similarity to Penny. Think about it… They both have blonde hair, but regardless are the brains behind the operation. Let’s not forget that both have a computer that can seemingly hack into anything, be it highly secure government files, or a refrigerator motor, they can do it. “But wait!”, you exclaim. Penny was a cute and lovable little tike, while Chloe has some sort of ‘personality disorder’. Obviously the creators of ‘24’ didn’t want to be too obvious, so they did the next logical thing. Please see this derivation.

When you cross Penny with a head of broccoli, lo and behold, you get Chloe O’Brien. Scary isn’t it?

“Okay, okay, maybe they stole Chloe, but Jack? Come on, we both know that’s sacrilege!”

Is it? Let me continue. Jack bears a striking resemblance to Inspector gadget himself. With the help of Penny, er, Chloe, they can get out of just about any situation. They both work for people that are pretty much clueless, and let’s not forget that each has a catchphrase that is identifiably them. (You know what I’m talking about.) Last, and certainly the smoking gun of our case, they both have had a substantial part of them removed in order to make more room for superhuman abilities. Inspector gadget likely has no skeletal structure, internal organs, or brain, while I’m pretty sure that Jack had his soul surgically removed during season one.

“Fine, I suppose I can grudgingly admit some similarity, still, Jack and Inspector Gadget? Still too much…”

Again, look at this derivation, and I think you’ll be forced to agree.

Crossing Inspector Gadget with a rottweiler invariably creates Jack Bauer, a man who’s not quite a man, and who’s vicious nature and lack of a soul makes him the ultimate weapon. Something happened to Jack while he was in China though. I think they stole some of his tools, and now he’s left with a gaping hole where his soul/abilities used to be. Season six will undoubtedly be the best season yet as Jack has to decide between his lost passion, or his long lost soul, a journey that may very well finally destroy him. Call me a sadist, but I’m rooting for the old Jack Bauer, the one who will do anything whatsoever to get the job done.

Let’s hope they can let this flagrant violation of intellectual piracy pass so that we are not denied the oh-so-addicting weekly dose of the drug that is ‘24’.

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